And then there is my daughter, Stefanie Armstrong, who became a mother just before Mother’s Day last year, making me a Grandma to Lilith Armstrong. I don’t believe I have ever experienced such joy as I do in seeing my grandchild grow and learn and flourish, under her mother – my daughter’s – watchful and loving eye. I know this may sound like an exaggeration, but I don’t know if I have ever met a more caring and devoted mother than my daughter. How proud I am of her and of the gift she and her husband Shaun have given me.

And I guess I am in there as a Mother, too – and maybe I could or should acknowledge myself just a little as this holiday approaches. I have allowed my children to be my teachers as well as my students, and we have all grown from that. I love them with passion and commitment, as I know all of you who are mothers and are reading this blog post do. If you are drawn to the power of acknowledgment, you are a loving, caring, nurturing mother – imperfect at times, but dedicated to your children’s realizing their full potential, as you continue to develop yours.

So to my daughter, my mother and my grandmother – I thank you all for the incredible models and experience of motherhood you provide to me. And I wish all of the mothers out there a beautiful, nurturing day of love with your families. I acknowledge all of you for the incredible job you do as Mothers!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Do you know of anyone who shows gratitude toward the people who work for him or her, who appreciates the talents and abilities and contributions of the employees, who wants to know them as people? I would appreciate any suggestions!

Royston Fernandes of Canada responded, and submitted the following message:
Judith – Perhaps I’m guilty of committing the cardinal sin of making an assumption. However, frequently, its the absence of certain things that raises questions. Could it be then, that the absence of comments about grateful leaders directly co-relates to the priority (or lack of) leaders and managers currently place on genuinely valuing the human element ? What does that tell us about the state of leadership today and more importantly about future leaders ?

I then wrote to him:
I think you have made some very astute observations. Here is my definition of a Grateful Leader, so you may understand better why we are not seeing a lot of “nominations”:
A Grateful Leader sees, recognizes and expresses appreciation for their employees’ contributions and their passionate engagement, on an ongoing basis. These Leaders really want to know their employees as people. They give their employees access to them as well as to other leaders regularly. By creating a culture of appreciation in their organization, in which people truly feel valued, they motivate their followers to strive for continuous improvement and always greater results. This, in turn promotes a positive environment and the overall well-being of both the leader and their followers.
If you do know of anyone who fills the bill, please do let me know. I have gotten some submissions from a variety of sources and they are outstanding human beings. But thanks for taking this to heart. I can see that the message resonates with you. Warmest regards, Judy

I also referred him to this blog, and he responded:
Hi Judy,

WOW ! What an exceptional, useful and pertinent blog. This certainly resonates with me and I’m going to be following it closely.

Then he submitted the following heartfelt, sincere and profound acknowledgment of a former leader of his:
For me, there are few people that meet these criteria, but the one person who I believe, fits the bill exceptionally is Roger Davis. Roger was my manager while @ IBM in 2002-2003/4. Why ? Roger understood my hunger to become a project manager. He listened to my dream of being a Project Manager and gave me the opportunity to learn the ropes as it were. More importantly – he taught me the difference between being a manager and a leader – by example. His appreciation came in various forms – constructive feedback, opportunities offered, a keen interest and support in my development long after I left IBM. I am grateful for his “servant leadership”, for reinforcing my belief that you can manage tasks – but you have to lead people. His actions have epitomised (and with due apologies to) JFK’s timeless exhortation – “Ask not what your team can do for you…but what you can do for your team.”

Again – thank you for your time and for driving this initiative forward.

Royston

Well done, Royston! This kind of acknowledgment makes a huge difference to a leader. I hope that Roger sees it, or else that you send it directly to him. We have no idea what unpredictably positive impact it could have. Also, he does sound like a candidate for the designation “Grateful Leader.” Thanks for letting all of us know about him.

The Power of Acknowledgment Book & E Book

IIL – McGraw Hill Press Release on Grateful Leadership

Chris Gregg accepting the Acknowledgment Ambassador Award

Below is the acknowledgment Award

IIL Acknowledgment Ambassador Christopher B. Gregg

So I started to look deeply into their eyes, and behind them into their souls, to see what could possibly be there. And I was astounded. They were telling the truth!!! I could see it, feel it, know it. Well what were they truly saying, then? I knew they knew I had messed up. But then I got it — it hit me square in the face, and hit me hard. They were telling me how much they admired the courage it took for me to get up in front of that rather huge audience of people who knew the language, and do my best. They were acknowledging me not for my perfection, but for my bravery, my audacity, my guts! I got it suddenly, and as more and more came up to me to congratulate me and tell me what a “great job” I had done, I was able to accept it. I was able to be proud of my courage. And I know that next time, I will do better — much better. And there will be a next time. Of that I am sure.

Hi Judy -

Guess what? I did read my note to my boss and I could tell that he was deeply moved by it. And being the genuinely good person that he is, he immediately turned it around and told me how he appreciated everything that I did, and how I was one of only three people (in a cast of hundreds) who made the current, very complicated (global) program we have right now a success. (That was quite stunning to hear also. My boss is not the effusive type. He’s quiet and a man of few words.)

But yes, he sat there and listened to me as I read the note and later, when I told him about what you said about bosses in his level not getting many thank you’s – he said, “Yes, that is true. I do not get many of those.”

Well, I would like to thank you for giving me the chance to finally express my gratitude to my boss. It was…extra special.

Thanks so much!
Jackie Duerr, Program Manager
Thomson Reuters

Well thank you, Jackie, for sharing this wonderful and important reminder to us all to not exlude our bosses from the Power of Acknowledgment.  Those leaders who deserve it, deserve to get it. Please send my acknowledgment to your excellent leader as well!

Wow! That last comment hit me really hard. Why is it that an officer never gets an acknowledgment? I can’t believe that there aren’t good people out there in law enforcement doing worthwhile, concerned and helpful things. Maybe we just don’t think of doing it, and should make sure we are open to taking note of the examples of this around us. I had the privilege of training 50 New York Police Department executives a while back, and they, too, expressed their deep sadness at the lack of acknowledgment they felt both from fellow officers and from the communities they served, even when they tried to do their best to make a difference in and for them.

Let’s look for opportunities to let people in law enforcement know that we appreciate them, when they do something helpful and caring. My daughter was thrilled that Officer Zyskowski has just about “cured” me of my weaving while driving habit. She says I have been doing it forever, and liked having the law on her side to get her mother to behave! Thanks again, Officer Z.!

So there I am, driving along the Palisades Interstate Parkway, deeply immersed in what was going to happen next in my book, when I suddenly noticed the flashing lights and loud siren of a police car behind me. That couldn’t be for me, I thought, glancing at my speedometer, which showed a safe and innocent 55 MPH. Maybe it was a broken tail light? Who knew, but I did know after a short time that I was the “intended” recipient of this notification. So I pulled over, and a police officer came to the passenger side of my car. I opened my window, and in a very nice manner, Officer Zyskowski (I later called the Palisades Interstate Parkway Police to find out his name) asked me how I was doing. “Fine!” I said enthusiastically. He then proceeded to ask me a series of questions – where I had been (okay, so I bragged a bit about the presentation I had just delivered, the book I wrote, etc., etc.), and that I was headed home. He continued to ask me questions about what I had been doing previously, even asking me some of the same questions more than once. Hmmm…I wondered. What was this about? And then he let me “have it” in the nicest of ways. “Were you aware of the fact that you were weaving in and out of your lane?” Uh, oh! That was one big “no” for me. He then proceeded to tell me that he had been very concerned, watching me weave, and was wondering if I had been driving “under the influence.” I was a bit shocked to discover that I had been weaving, so engrossed had I been in my book. So I confessed to distracted driving, and committed – both to him and to myself – to not let that happen again. I even shut off the audio book, for that night, which nearly killed me due to where I was left hanging in the plot. But I deserved to be kept in suspense.

Officer Zyskowski told me that he had thought about having me get out and walk to prove that I was sober, and (I am guessing) to use a breathalyzer, but based on our conversation and my explanation of my weaving, he would let me continue on my way, and told me to have a nice rest of the evening. No ticket, no blame, no attack. Just a committed, caring officer’s response to a driver on the sometimes bumpy road of life. Office Zyskowski, I want to publically acknowledge you for the lovely, caring way you dealt with my actions. I learned a great deal from you about distracted driving and realize that even an audio book can qualify. I’m not saying I am giving them up, but I am listening to them in a very different manner. And that is thanks to you!

So to Officer Zyskowski, who used concern and caring rather than automatic punishment as a way to achieve his organization’s ultimate goals, I say to you, “Thanks! I needed that!”

I have been married for 18 years; I have one biological son and two adopted children.
I have been working in information technology for 12 years and am certified as a PMP since 2006.
In late 2008 I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and then began a terrible fight and I experienced much sadness. I started treatment without reporting it to my superiors, as I was afraid of losing my job. After six months and some absences at work, I was called by the HR department of the company, and they were wondering if the rumors of my illness were real. I confirmed this and immediately got fired because the company said that I would not be needed to serve more at work and I was no longer permitted to go to the office. So I had no job and no salary.
After that, I had to sell a car and jewelry to pay for treatment through a health plan for individuals.
I went one year without working, just making progress with my condition and the treatment of my resulting depression.

Then one day, talking with a friend, he asked me for my resume and sent it to a friend of his, a professor at the educational institution, Fundação Getulio Vargas, Mr. Pablo Coelho. So I sent it to him without much hope, because I had already gotten several rejections, but I did send it.

When suddenly my phone rang, it was Mr. Pablo, asking me to come in for an interview. Even with little hair, I tried my best to improve my appearance. Our conversation was very laid back, he was very friendly, and we spoke about the company. After some time I felt uncomfortable with so much professional respect. So I told him I was undergoing treatment for cancer, and he said, “Where is the cancer?” and I said “In the breast.” Then he said: “Well then, it does not affect your brain, so that won’t bother you at work. Begin immediately!”

And since April, 2010 we have been working together with great mutual respect. We are working with process mapping and project management. A month after I started working, I took new tests and my doctors eliminated some drugs because I no longer needed them. I was left with some medication and the disease declined sharply.

I will live longer and work HAPPIER EVERY DAY, so much so that at times I cannot even remember the disease.
Thank you for the opportunity to tell this story, because although I recognized my boss several times because he is very human, I welcome the chance to say it again, to a larger audience. We are always assessing people for who they are, and not just for the work they do.

I really admire him. Thank you, thank you for the opportunity to acknowledge Pablo Coelho.

And thank you, Lindelma, for bringing this wonderful human being to all of our attention. Pablo Coelho is someone we are proud to acknowledge. There should be (a lot) more people like him!